


Tell That To The Dick

by Tortellini



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Bad Jokes, Based on a Tumblr Post, Best Friends, Bisexual Remus Lupin, Childhood Friends, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Dick Jokes, Dirty Jokes, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Humor, Inappropriate Humor, Inspired By Tumblr, Jokes, M/M, Male Friendship, Marauders, Marauders Friendship, Marauders' Era, Minor Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Romantic Fluff, Romantic Friendship, Sexual Humor, Sirius Black & James Potter Friendship, Wordcount: 100-500
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-14
Updated: 2017-08-14
Packaged: 2018-12-14 17:15:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11787723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tortellini/pseuds/Tortellini
Summary: Remus has a question. James has a solution. Sirius has an answer...wait, did he seriously (no pun intended) just say that out loud though??Oneshot/drabble





	Tell That To The Dick

Sometimes Remus Lupin thought he was way too nice for his own good. And certainly too nice for his friends. Right now he'd copied notes for his boyfriend--secret boyfriend, no one else was supposed to know except for their other two best friends. But Sirius Black was nowhere in site. 

"Hey, James?" He paused outside of one of the classrooms. "Have you seen Padfoot around? I have the transfiguration notes I copied for him."

James paused for a moment like he was actually thinking about it. "Nah, mate. But I know how to find him really quickly." Remus didn't have time to stop him after he smirked, and he yelled: "REMUS LUPIN IS A RAGING HETEROSEXUAL."

Remus also didn't have time to say stop when a familiar voice yelled across the hall: "TELL THAT TO THE DICK HE SUCKED LAST NIGHT!"

Dead. Silence. Literally throughout the entire hallway. Sirius appeared casually at his shoulder. Remus was positive his face was bright red. James looked sick from trying so hard not to laugh. 

So much for keeping that a secret, Sirius Black. 

"Dumbledore owes me five galleons." Their own professor McGonagall deadpanned from the doorway. And their headmaster stood next to her. He made a tsk tsk noise. 

_"Dumbledamn."_


End file.
